Hooman Dominated By Bun(s)!! (For bun eyes ONLY!)

It haves been a while since my last bwog and me posted one on "Hooman Punishments" and it disappeared!!! Hmmmm...me wonders how THAT hoppened?! Hoomans run this site, doesn't they? Needs me says more?! Me will re-does that bwog, but first...me haves had a conversation wif Estelle, Esme, and The Genewal that, me felt, made it necessawy to does this quick one first! Lets me 'splain..... First, and VEWY IMPORTANT, as me indicated in this bwog title, this is for BUN EYES ONLY!!! If you is hooman...STOP! DO NOT wead any further!! Me haves encrypted this text wif hooman-eye-blinding, "eye rays"! If you is hooman and you continue to wead....well, you won't be weading much longer!! You won't be seeings much longer eifur!! This is my FINAL WARNING!!! Ok....now that we is ALL buns here, me can begin. It has occurred to me, while gettings some bootiful bwacewets for my momma, that us buns need a way to identify which hoomans is under "Bun Contwol" and which hoomans is not!!! Me finks this is vewy 'portant and me haves come up wif a way to does that!!! All hoomans need to be under "Bun Contwol"! This is necessary for our eventual "World Bun Take Over Day" that The Genewal (@GenBunnyparte) haves been workings on, wif his army of buns, for a wong time now!! We need a quick, easy way to identify who is who!! Yesterday, me was buying some vewy coot bwacewets fwom @EstelleEsme for my momma. She haves been doing efurryfing me haves telled her to do, wif no compwaints. So, me is rewardings her!! And THAT'S when it occurred to me!! What a perfect way to identify the hoomans that is alweady under Bun Contwol!! Just gives them a bwacewet to wears and now all ofur buns will nose they is under Bun Contwol!! Now...the best part of my plan is that we buns will makes the hoomans buys their own bwacewets!! HEEHEE!! I made my momma buy FOUR (4) of them, today!! HEEHEEHEEEEEE!!! Isn't that gweat?! Not only is they now being identified as being Under Bun Contwol, but they is paying for it themselves!! That's the ultimate example of being UNDER BUN CONTWOL!!! So, when the day finally comes, where the whole world is abruptly and compwetwy, BUN DOMINATED BY BUNS (Bun-Take-Over-Day), we will know immediatwy and easily, which few hoomans wemain that still needs to be converted!! *evil-bun-laugh* You can gets the "Bun bwacewets" that me got for momma fwom @EstelleEsme or you can makes your own! Estelle & Esme doesn't nose that me is writings this and me didnt ask them if their momma could does lops of Bun Bracelets or not. Me pwobabwy should've asked first, but me was so 'cited that me figured out a way to "mark the hoomans" that me wasn't really finking vewy well. Me is sowwy for gettings cawwied away! So, buns....let me nose what you finks of my idea!! If you haves anofur idea, that's better, tells us buns 'bout it!! Maybe you haves a better way of "marking the hoomans" as being "Under Bun Contwol"!! If you does, me wants to hears it!! Just keeps in mind that gettings the hoomans to pay for their own "marking" is weally the coolest part!! Me wuvs the @EstelleEsme bwacelets and me finks the hoomans would wikes wearings them! Ok, me is done now! Fanks you sooo much for listening to me!! Me wuvs all my bun fwiends and all buns on earth & OTRB!!! Hooman Punishment bwog will be out soon!! (AGAIN!!)

The most bootiful bun in the world!!!!

Me is vewy nervous!!! Me doesn't usually gets nervous but me haves the pwivlage of interviewing my bootiful girlfwiend, Bailey (@baileybun1).  Me is the wuckiest bun in the world!!!
Ok, evfurrybunny, here we go.......

1)  When did you come to lives wif your momma, daddy and sissy?  Had they ever had a bun before?
     
They bwought me home October 28, 2011 fwom the farm!  Me was 2 months old, exactly! Me is their first bunny!

2)  Does you haves any ofur anipals in YOUR home?

Not unless you count sissy. (hehehe, me made a funny!)

3)  What is the most annoying fing that your momma does, and what is you doing to twy and stops her fwom doesing it?

Hmmmm, pwobably when she twies to touch my fumpers, I just hop away when she does, or just moves it under me so she can't weach it!

4)  Hee hee...Does you haves a boyfwiend? (heehee) And is he coot?

Yes *swoons* me has the cootest, most wuving boyfwiend ever!  Me finks you nose him....teeheehee, it's you, Scotty!!

5)  Does you finks that any of the Presidential candidates for the 2012 race are capable of winning against Penne (@killerparrot)?

Absolutely NOT!!  Me finks Penne has it in the bag, as they say!

6)  My momma finks it's ok for her to takes MY bPhone, anytime she wants to!  Does your momma feel the same way?  If so, what does you finks should be done about that?

*THUMPS* YES, stoopid momma does, espwecially when she works on Saturdays! Me is wiffout MY bPhone fwom Fwiday until she gets home Saturday!  Me not nose what can be done. Me has twied the suggestions fwom your bwog about it but, so far, me isn't having any wuck!

(At this point in the interview, we took a short, ten minute bweak for Bailey to calms down.  We slowed her bweathing, stopped the incessant thumping and me telled her that me will have more punishment suggestions for the hoomans in my next bwog. Once she heard that, we were ables to continue wif the interview)

7)  Ok honey, I mean, Bailey! Thank you for coming back to finish our interview.  I has anofer "momma question" for you.  It's been rumored that your momma haves been known to COUNT YOUR POOPIES!!  Why did she do this, and does she still do it?

Yes. That is cowwect, she did count them, but it was only when she would come home and I'd leave piles on the floor, so she HAD to pick them up!  Me doesn't do that anymore, so she doesn't eifur!  Me only poopies in my litter box!

8)  If you could twavels anywhere, where would you wikes to goes?

Me would wuv to go upstairs again!  It's been bwocked off because of all the work they is doing!  But to twavel, me would has to say Flowida, because that's where you wives and also to the UK, because awot of our anipals & Aunty Kawen and Aunty Kay wives there!

9)  Would you rather bungi jumps off a bwidge or rapels down a mountain side?

Me finks, bungi jump off the bwidge.

10)  Does your daddy does anyfings annoyings awound YOUR house?

YES!! AWOT!!  Me has to gwowl at him when he twies to wook at me-when I is behind MY couch! Me doesn't wike that!!  And, when I is welaxing, under MY wocking chair, in the corner!  *THUMPS*  Leave me awone, daddy!!!

Is you ok to continue? Just four more questions......
(Nods, yes.)

11)  What does it means to you to haves ALL the fwiends you has on Twitter?

Ohhhh!  Me finks it's just the most bunderful experience ever! Mommy finks it's the best "community" ever!  We fink evfurryone is so loving and so supportive of each ofur, it's weally a twue blessing!  Mommy says she dweams of a day where evfurryone could get togefur somepwace to meet! It's also vewy devastating....because we all wuvs each ofur so much, when one of us is poorly or loses their fight and goes OTRB, we haves a vewy difficult time wif that!

12)  Me will be doings a bwog soon, about punishments that us buns & ofur anipals can use on hoomans that is not doings fings the way they shoulds.  Do you haves any particularly tortureous punishment in mind?

Me finks me needs to thump more! Me rarely does that!  Me wikes giving hoomans the bum, though me doesn't do that efur, yet!  Me finks my punishment is not letting the hoomans pick me up wight now! Me doesn't wike that!!


13)  How does it feel, now that you doesn't has to be wocked up in your cage at night any more?

Ohhhhh, me just wuvs it!  I was a naughty bun & ruined a light, but now daddy wearranged fings...hehehe, they finks that'll keep me out....!  Mommy needs to get cord pwotectors!  It's funny, the last time she went to buy me hay, she saw cord pwotectors and considered buying some.  She didn't because I had been so good!  Silly mommy!

14)  Does you haves anyfing that you would wike to lets evfurrybunny nose about you, or anyfing you would wikes to say?

I is vewy hoppy that mommy wanted me so much, because me would still be in a cage, at the farm, and now I am a fwee-wange house bun!!  And since coming home, I has made mommy into a silly, cwazy bun lady and we can't wait to bond me wiff a fwiend!!!  Poor mommy wants evfurrybun in the world to be wuved as much as me and it just breaks her heart when she hears about how cruel some hoomans are to us buns!
I would also wike to fank you, Scotty, for wuving me and finking I'm interesting enough to interview!! Me wuvs you Lops and lops, fowever and ever.......

('Scuse me.....
Me gotted somefing in my eyes wight now..that's why they is leaking, A LITTLE!! Me needs a tissue to gets the stuffs out of my eyes. (stop leaking, silly eyes...stops it!!!)  ok, that's better....Ahem...)

15)  Cawwots or corriander?

Cawwots.  Only cause me has never had cowwiander!


Me wants to fank my bootiful Bailey for a 'mazing interview!!!  Me finks that your fwiends nose you a little bit better now and me nose that me does!!!  You are as bootiful on the inside, as you are on the outside and me is pwoud to nose you!! *sniff*  AHEM!!!!  No...no...me is not cwying!! Shhh, momma.....SHHHH!!!!!

Me is busy at work doesing wesearch for my next bwog.  We will be explorwing the many, "interwesting" punishments for hoomans!! Heeheeeeeeeee!!!!  There are sooo many fings that hoomans does wrong......or they just doesn't nose better.......that me will have diffewent degwees of punishments to use!!!  Stay tuned....it's gonna be 'citing!!!! (AND....vewy useful...*evil bun laugh*)

MY bPhone!!!!

We buns haves a big, big pwoblem that we is facing more & more evfurry day! It's somefing that is diswupting how smoothly our bun-lives should be wunnings!! You can pwobabwy guess what me is goings to bwogs about today....and that is the annoyings way that our momma's steals OUR bPhones OR bunBerries!! Momma's, (and, in some cases, daddy's) you do NOT wealize how you inconvenience and stwess out, what shoulds be, a serene, lazy, & uncompwicated bun life! You may not finks about it but we buns, piggies, dogs, cats, turtles, hamsters, parrots, etc. depends solely on our bPhones & bunBerries to communicates and plan stuffs that is important to us!! We haves many fings that MUST BE discussed and wesolved between all of us anipals! For purposes of this bwog me will refer to all the above mentioned anipals as "buns" and all types/kinds of phones as bPhones! If me has to list all kinds of animals and all kinds of phones, we would be here for a week!!! Me is going to twy and makes momma's bunderstands how important it is for them to stops taking OUR bPhones wif them to work or shoppings or where ever you goes!
We buns haves lops of fings that needs to gets done! We needs to be able to picks up our bPhone AT ANY TIME to talks on Twitter! This is how we communicates!! We plans stuff on Twitter! We keeps up wif what evfurrybunny is doings and that's how we nose if there is anyfings that anofur bun needs! Me is not goings to 'plains evfurryfing that we tweets about cause its none of you hoomans business! We keeps fings betweens us and hoomans on a "need to know" basis. This is for our pwotection and you hoomans protection! You hoomans finks that you needs to nose what we is doings, but me can tells you, wight now, that you doesn't wants to nose!! Twust me!! This most important pwobwem can be solved vewy quickly & easily....just a few simple steps, outlined below, will 'splains it vewy clearwy to you.
1) For your own emotional stability, it's vewy 'portant that you acknowledge the fact that we buns is in charge!! This will makes the west of these steps much easier for you hoomans to gets through!
2) Now that you have taken the first step, it is important that you does this step vewy quickly!! Goes out and buys the best, most coolest, 'spensive phone that's made. This new phone is now the BUNS new phone!!
3) Immediatewy has the carrier twansfer all data & info. fwoms our old phone to the new, cool phone.
4) Now, takes the new phone and the old phone stwaight to your bun! Do NOT stops anywhere else and DO NOT wooks at the new phone. AT ALL!! This is pwivate information! The carrier alweady has deleted all bun info. fwom the old phone so you may wook at that one.
5) Gives both phones to your bun! (If you haves more than one bun, gives them to the alpha-bun!
6) Excellent work!! If you have followed all the steps, outlined above, and the bun approves of your actions and speed of your actions, me has a surpwise for you!!!
7) YOU CAN HAVES THE OLD PHONE!!! Us buns is not selfish! When our hoomans does fings right, they will gets rewarded for their good behaviors!!

Me hopes that this has given all my fwiends the courage to does what you needs to does! We haves to takes contwols of the situation! Me can tells you fwom 'perience, that me is tired of momma dictatings when I haves and when I doesn't haves, MY bPhone!

Me nose you can does it!! Just takes a deep breaf and go tells, not ask, your hooman(s) what you wants done! Says it wif 'thority!! Means what you says and DON'T takes no for an answer!! In a bwog to come in the future, me will discuss punishments for hoomans that doesn't does what we orders them to does. Keeps your eyes open for that one! Me can pwomise you that it will be vewy entertainings!!

Fanks you for weadings my bwog! And wemember...YOU IS IN CHARGE!!!!

Love, Scotty


BADGERS FOOTNOTE: I have to wipe Billy's poop off my feet before I can use my gPhone.


Me would like to say fanks you to Billy (@piggusbiggus) for lettings me borrow the gweat wisdom of Badger for the footnote!!!

POOPIES.....

Hee Heeeeeeee!!! Poopie! Poopie!! Poopie!! Poop! Poop! POOPIE!!! Hee Heeeeeeeeeee heeee!!!!!!
Many of my fwiends nose how much me wuvs talkin bout, finkin bout and playin wif poopies! If you doesn't nose.....you will when you is done weadings this!!

Poopies comes into play wif many fings. Let's say me wants momma to gets me fwesh water. Turns wif your butt facing the waterbowl, makes a big pile of poopie and then kicks wif your thumpers! This will frows the poopies into the water bowl! Now...does a flop next to the water bowl wif a dehydrated wook on your face! Your momma will RUNS to gets you fwesh water!

Now....one day, me was bored and momma was hungwy. Me heard her says that she wants candy, specifically, "Skittles" candies...heehee...Me haves some candy for you, momma!! After momma finished wif her Skittles, she still wanted more. Well...me putted three poopies out on the carpet, next to momma's La-Z-Boy chair. Me was watchin fwom under MY table-cave (anofur story for anofur bwog). Momma walkeded over, wif her hungwy, candy needing bwain, and picks up the three poopies and PUTS THEM IN HER MOUF!! Hee heeeeeeee!! She gotted this funny wook on her face cause she was twyin to gets the flavor out of them, and couldn't! Me then see'd her spits them out into her hand and wook at them as she wealizes what they is!! Then she wooks at me. ME?!?!!! Me is just sittings there, wif a vewy innocent wook on my face, while wooking extra coot (as usual)!!! Me didn't does anyfing, momma!!!

Vewy important to talks about using our poopies as weapons!! Me has gotted vewy good at flingings poopies acwoss the room at momma!! Good aim is vewy important and you can only gets good aim by practicing, when the hooman(s) isn't home. Me uses them for peltings my hooman sissy (me discussed her in my pwevious bwog) if she twies to walks through MY living room!
There is many ways to hurls poopies....you can frows them wif your fwont paws, you can kicks them wif your thumpers and you can digs wif all four of your feets, in your litter to cause a "rainstorm of poopies" which is a vewy effective way of pummelling anyfing or anyone, wif a lot of poopies at the same time!!

Ok, me is tired fwom all this bwoggings and me haves to goes and takes a naps now. Me hopes you has learned somefing bout poopies! Me hasn't covered evfurryfing yet and me may does anofur poopie bwog sometime!
Fanks for weadings my stuff!! Wuv, Scotty!!!


Added on Sunday:
Me has been lucky enough to secure Badger, fwom @piggusbiggus to does a "footnote" for me on my weekly blog! Me is vewy 'cited bout this!!! Fanks you, Badger, for your wisdom!!

Badgers footnote: "I hate stepping in other people's poopie!"

MY Momma.....MY living room!!!

Me has decided to tells evfurrybunny bout myself!! I is the KING of my house and me runs the show!! Me lives wif two ofur buns named Oreo(M) and Laddy(F). We lets our hooman momma and hooman sissy (who is 13) lives wif us! They is lucky that me lets them all stays here!
Me is a member of a secwet cwimes fighting gwoup and my Sooper-Power is YELLING!! It's not time for me to discuss that, yet!
Me is blogging now to complains bout some stuff and gives ofur buns lessons on how to handles things that we bun has to handles. For example: my hooman sissy finks she can walks through MY living room any time she wants to! NO!! She also finks she can talks to or hug or kiss MY momma any time she wants to! SHE CAN'T!! It is MY living room and MY momma!! Now....here is what I does to stops that fwom happenings. When I see's her wooking at MY living room or MY momma, I jumps out of my cage, runs to the middle of MY living room, puts my ears down, glares and thumps at her! If she twies to keeps walking into MY living room, me charges her feets while growling vewy loud and mean at her! Me then chases her feet and growls, making her scared I is gonna bites her!! It always works!! She moves vewy fast to gets out of there! If she twies to hug or talk to MY momma, I does the same fing and she leaves vewy quickly! If she scweams or cwies, me just wooks real coot and momma comes to my defense! Heehee! She say to sissy that I is a bun and she is hooman so she haves to be nice to me and gives me what me wants!!
All you buns can does this too! You can use it any way you needs to!! You is welcomes!
Now....momma is handing out tweats so me is gonna go gets some of them. Me will talks to you all on my next blog!

Final thought: me doesn't like cucumber!