MY bPhone!!!!

We buns haves a big, big pwoblem that we is facing more & more evfurry day! It's somefing that is diswupting how smoothly our bun-lives should be wunnings!! You can pwobabwy guess what me is goings to bwogs about today....and that is the annoyings way that our momma's steals OUR bPhones OR bunBerries!! Momma's, (and, in some cases, daddy's) you do NOT wealize how you inconvenience and stwess out, what shoulds be, a serene, lazy, & uncompwicated bun life! You may not finks about it but we buns, piggies, dogs, cats, turtles, hamsters, parrots, etc. depends solely on our bPhones & bunBerries to communicates and plan stuffs that is important to us!! We haves many fings that MUST BE discussed and wesolved between all of us anipals! For purposes of this bwog me will refer to all the above mentioned anipals as "buns" and all types/kinds of phones as bPhones! If me has to list all kinds of animals and all kinds of phones, we would be here for a week!!! Me is going to twy and makes momma's bunderstands how important it is for them to stops taking OUR bPhones wif them to work or shoppings or where ever you goes!
We buns haves lops of fings that needs to gets done! We needs to be able to picks up our bPhone AT ANY TIME to talks on Twitter! This is how we communicates!! We plans stuff on Twitter! We keeps up wif what evfurrybunny is doings and that's how we nose if there is anyfings that anofur bun needs! Me is not goings to 'plains evfurryfing that we tweets about cause its none of you hoomans business! We keeps fings betweens us and hoomans on a "need to know" basis. This is for our pwotection and you hoomans protection! You hoomans finks that you needs to nose what we is doings, but me can tells you, wight now, that you doesn't wants to nose!! Twust me!! This most important pwobwem can be solved vewy quickly & easily....just a few simple steps, outlined below, will 'splains it vewy clearwy to you.
1) For your own emotional stability, it's vewy 'portant that you acknowledge the fact that we buns is in charge!! This will makes the west of these steps much easier for you hoomans to gets through!
2) Now that you have taken the first step, it is important that you does this step vewy quickly!! Goes out and buys the best, most coolest, 'spensive phone that's made. This new phone is now the BUNS new phone!!
3) Immediatewy has the carrier twansfer all data & info. fwoms our old phone to the new, cool phone.
4) Now, takes the new phone and the old phone stwaight to your bun! Do NOT stops anywhere else and DO NOT wooks at the new phone. AT ALL!! This is pwivate information! The carrier alweady has deleted all bun info. fwom the old phone so you may wook at that one.
5) Gives both phones to your bun! (If you haves more than one bun, gives them to the alpha-bun!
6) Excellent work!! If you have followed all the steps, outlined above, and the bun approves of your actions and speed of your actions, me has a surpwise for you!!!
7) YOU CAN HAVES THE OLD PHONE!!! Us buns is not selfish! When our hoomans does fings right, they will gets rewarded for their good behaviors!!

Me hopes that this has given all my fwiends the courage to does what you needs to does! We haves to takes contwols of the situation! Me can tells you fwom 'perience, that me is tired of momma dictatings when I haves and when I doesn't haves, MY bPhone!

Me nose you can does it!! Just takes a deep breaf and go tells, not ask, your hooman(s) what you wants done! Says it wif 'thority!! Means what you says and DON'T takes no for an answer!! In a bwog to come in the future, me will discuss punishments for hoomans that doesn't does what we orders them to does. Keeps your eyes open for that one! Me can pwomise you that it will be vewy entertainings!!

Fanks you for weadings my bwog! And wemember...YOU IS IN CHARGE!!!!

Love, Scotty


BADGERS FOOTNOTE: I have to wipe Billy's poop off my feet before I can use my gPhone.


Me would like to say fanks you to Billy (@piggusbiggus) for lettings me borrow the gweat wisdom of Badger for the footnote!!!